hit me with your best shot .

Thursday, April 30, 2009,10:10 pm

firstly, can i say.

I DIDNT FREAKING DO ANYTHING.

turn all those pointed fingers away, splash all those tainted thoughts.

what happened to faith, hope, love?

i cant seem to catch a grabhold.

there's so much more life, cant you see beyond this fine grey line?

carolyn's voice going "embrace everyone!" is ringing in my head as i type this.

i think all these politics and stuff are really unnecessary.

haha, okay, something really random first.

i was just walking past my brother watching wrestling.

and some little irish gremlin has a signature move called

the .

TADPOLE SPLASH!

isnt that so cute !?

anyway, today was a short day.

but it seemed to drag on FOREVER.

i waited and waited for that bell to ring because i wanted to go home early today.

well, went to eat at j8 and ended up only leaving around 5.

ohwell, at least it was spent with Cat and gf.

i really neeeded a break from schoool and home.
.

i'm so happy! because Cat helped me to get a one day job on sunday(:

which will help me for my allowance next weeeeek! :D :D :D

i'm trying to look at my problems from a different perspective.

not just spiral downwards going why why why

but from heaven's eye view

i'm determined to find a way out of this, or at least change how i look at it.

i will not let my problems make me crumble!

besides, i realised the people on fmylife.com have much sadder problems):

so, enough yiwen! (: *slaps

count your blessings!

anyway, just want to say thanks to the people who have been helping me this week.

and just showing me that i'm not alone in this(:

marc, cc. sorry i cant meet you guys this weekend): i really want to!

Monday, April 27, 2009,10:19 pm

[ i know i'm not just thinking too much ]

i woke up at 9am today!

so decided since i was already late, i would go central and cut my hair.

$4.80 :D

contrary to what CATHERINE KEE thinks, im quite happy with it(:

so, reached school only about 1pm after meeting my class for lunch.

slacked around,

cat and carolyn were helping me with the job search.

yay! they're really helpful(:

then we went for gp.

brian , Cat & chiahow were dancing that wondergirl thing the whole day !! D:

the clap clap thing is stuck in my head now ! D: D: D:

*shakes head

met cherie at amk at about 6.

and we walked around everywhere to look for jobs.

gave our names here and there.

but nothing really promising.

the only one was artbox.

they said we could start immediately,

but the pay is only $4.50/hr.

and we probably cant work together ):

so we hesitated. hahaha!

cherie then brought me to eat pepperlunch,

for the first time in my life ! :D

it was nice :D :D :D

on the brighter note,

we're going to sing k tomorrow ! :D

yay! (: (: (: (:

God is good, all the time.

He put a song of praise in this heart of mine!

*clap clap . *clap.

eew ! the stupid wondergirl beat is in my head !! ):

life is tough ):

i'm trying my best to look on the bright side of this!

Friday, April 24, 2009,12:06 am

i don't know, i don't know, i don't know.

i'm here screaming at the top of my lungs and you don't hear a thing do you ?

so much for friend.

today was alright, relatively slack.

or maybe because my brain was switched off.

econs, maths, geog.

i really couldnt absorb a thing.

( except the cool video we watched about volcanoes )

also, we washed our last 2 cars today!

FINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLY !!(:

it was such a relief when we threw down the sponge and cloth for the last time ! :DDDD

& the long awaited thursday was finally here.

del, Cat and i had our picnic! (:

it wasnt much of a picnic though,

but i loved it anyway(:

we trashed, we crapped, we listened, we gazed.

it was short, but it made me feel 10000x better.

the three of us just needed some time to get away from everything.

it was a great comfort to me knowing that they were there(:

this has just beent he worst week so far.

i just want to run away,

drop everything, run away and find the true meaning to life.

make someone's life happy, see the joy in someone else's eyes.

then maybe i'll find my peace.

there's alot of things i want to rant out now, everything.

maybe tomorrow.

i need to clear my head, get my story straight):

when i saw what you were doing today, something in my heart just broke.

i want to think that i'm wrong.

i want to think that things have not changed.

but come on, i'm not that stupid.

i know you aren't either.

i feel i dont even know you anymore):

Wednesday, April 22, 2009,11:55 pm

i have the most interesting msn conversation these days! this one is with kaihsiang!
ccks-sians are just weird. haha!
.
.

KaiHsiang - says:
ur hse there got sudden very strong wind?

- YYIWEN & nothing. says:
YESYESYES ! OHMYTIAN !
JUST ONLY !!

KaiHsiang - says:
lol
ya
like typhoon

- YYIWEN & nothing. says:
hahahah!
you also have ?

KaiHsiang - says:
ya

- YYIWEN & nothing. says:
thought our feng shui different! HHA!

KaiHsiang - says:
lol
i saw things flying around
.
.

HE SAW THINGS FLYING AROUND ?! o.o
i dont know why, but it made me rofl!
the thing is he stays opposite me. but our windows face different direction.
aiya, its funny. just laugh! (:

but, today was an emo day for many of us ):
things are just getting harder and harder to carry.

Sunday, April 19, 2009,11:44 pm

[ its funny isnt it ? ]

okay, something really random.
but not UNlinked to my day.

imagine a world without :
- handphones, phones, pagers.
- computers & internet (email,google etc)
- television
- cars
and all the perks.

maybe then,
people would
read a little more patiently,
listen a little more intently.
pay a little more attention.
& just try a little harder.

life would slow to a jog,
opportunities, memories, everyday life seen in a different light.
and time will be more cherished.
.
.
i had an interesting conversation with my aunt last night.
she tried to hammer into my head
that life's about climbing all over the people around you.
that we must take what you can, throw the rest away.
and if you dont swim with the tide you'll drown.
values mean nothing, and there's no room for idealism,choice or sincerity.

.
and so.
what do you do when the world throws you a plate of crap telling you that's all you'll ever have ?

will you compromise your personal convictions (spiritual or not) ?

i trust in You.

Saturday, April 18, 2009,5:20 pm

i just had the following conversation with CHONG SHUNI.

Shuni says:
BORING !!

- YYIWEN says:
hahaha, i entertain you.
what do you call a malay little boy?
(:

Shuni says:
ginna

- YYIWEN says:
NO LUH.
haha!
guess !

Shuni says:
i dont know !
i hate that type of thing

- YYIWEN says:
LOL
spoiler leh you
is mini mart! (:

Shuni says:
a bit :x
why!?

- YYIWEN says:
cos malay is mut right?
mut = mart = mini mart!
ITS A JOKE CHONG SHUNI.

Shuni says:
yeapps :x

- YYIWEN says:
JUST LAUGH.

Shuni says:
WTF!
alamak! i dont get it.
haha

- YYIWEN says:
malay little boy = mini mut (mart)
-.-

Shuni says:
HAOHAO!
i laughed le.

-__________________________________________-"

its super funny when you have to EXPLAIN jokes. haha!

2:14 pm

[ i was so shocked O: ]

i was just playing around on facebook when i thought,

how naturally everyone has fled from friendster to facebook! aha.

friendster is now such a thing of the past.

nobody even remembers it or talks about it anymore ):

isnt it quite sad?! ):

anyhoo, i spent the night at manprit's house.

like FINALLY! haha.

but it was quite funny, we had a really long night.

when we reached and went to her room.

i just KO-ed on her bed within ten minutes D: D: D: !

it was a rough night for both of us.

but i know much more for her.

gosh, life just gives you lemons sometimes eh ?

and you get so sick of just squeezing and squeezing.

honestly,

every week we struggle with all the shit around us.

EVERY WEEK, we tell each other each week that

we'll get over it,

we'll get through it.

things will get better.

but one day.

everything just hits you so hard you fall SMACK on your face.

and its not that you cant get up,

but, you just dont want to.

we were just thinking about how DIFFERENT things have become from last year.

seriously, its like having woken up from a bad dream and realising that its your life.

this year,

everything and everyone's just sucking you dry, suffocating you.

waiting to climb all over you if you don't hold your ground.

i dont want to sound like a horrible christian on this end.

im not trying to be self-righteous or hypocritical.

call me stubborn if you want.

but i mean,

life's not perfect eh. there was never a promise that it would be - or even close.

shit happens, we grow, we learn, we get over it, we move on.

we lift our strongholds to God and put it in His hands.

we do our best to be a good testimony.

but we're not super heroes yeah.

i love God with all my heart, more than anything even.

but there's a life and alot happening outside the four walls of the church.

where's the purpose and destiny if you turn away?

manprit's having tution now!

im bored ):

anyway, i think the car detergent's been giving me rashes !! D:

&&& our class managed to raise at least $523 this week! :DDDDDD

i love this week that i spent getting to know great friends like Cat and Delicia.

washing cars together and just living life(:

i thank God that they're there for me(:

Tuesday, April 14, 2009,9:45 pm

GUESS WHAT?
TODAY WE WASHED CARS AGAIN!
-.-
this time it was cat, girlfriend and me that lasted till the end.
hahaha! carolyn, zenia, nat and jacques left halfway.
and others just .. disappeared. sighs!
wont say anything about that.
we had alot of fun throwing water around and making fun of each other.
i love them! :D

we then attempted to study.
but gf and i ended up walking around the track after about half an hour.
nanyang's really nice at night you know(:
.
.
okay, i cant blog much because i need to study!
i think after i took meds today.
i started giving many people attitude.
HAHAHA!
i dont know if its because they really pissed me off,
or whether the meds is making me go psycho.
IM SORRY! ):
.
.
anyway,
mrs kwee ( my tution teacher ) probably hates me more x10000
because i postponed tution AGAIN.
AHHAHAHAHA.

okay, time to study! (:
smile everyone! (:

im quite happy today :D
maybe my meds are allowing me to assume temporary euphoria. HAHA.
okay forget it, im talking rubbish.
.
.
ohoh! before i forget.
i stumbled onto the blog of this guy friend of mine in the com lab today.
ohmytian, it really made me cry on the inside.
it tore into me, honestly.

i read line by line.

his apparent affections for this girl, the way he spelled it out.
its truly what every girl wants to hear! seriously. haha!
i was really amazed at his depth and all, plus he's quite a good looking guy.
i dont want to say too much, but his words really stung something in me man.
it really made me think into all this bgr rubbish.
i wish him all the best!(:

Monday, April 13, 2009,11:02 pm

whats the value on your life?

WE WASHED CARS TODAY!
it turned out to be really fun! haha, sort of.
there's a sense of accomplishment man!
altogether, we washed at least 8 cars today! :D

my wonderful thick-skinned classmates.
just ran up to EVERY car that passed us and asked !
we even washed laopei's car :DDDDDDD

in the end, it was just me and Cat,
and we persevered till 8! :D
.
.
school life is just full of crap and rubbish.
i seriously dont know whats happening.
my strive now
is to bring back SENSE into my life!(:

school this week will be just horrible.
i need to eat meds which make me drowsy, headache-ish and irritable.
so dont talk to me this week! haha.
i'll probably just stare at you and give a black face D:
.
.
on a lighter note.
I WANT TO HIDE UNDER A ROCK AND JUST HIDE! D:

Sunday, April 12, 2009,1:32 am

WATCH THIS! hahaha! ITS SUPER SUPER FUNNY!.

its the website with all the GXT videos, i was watching all night! laughing my butt off.

HeartofGodchurch GXT.

click it! seriously(: hahaah!

easter's been great.

impactful, significant, life-changing as always.

i admit i've been really tired this past two days,

havent been my normal hyped-up self [ except with shipei ]

but i really enjoy the company of people around me.

and God never short-changes when you seek Him(:

i just love D5 man! (:

we crap together,

we grow together,

we run alongside each other!

certain things and certain people disappointed me this easter.

but the impact that God left on my siblings and cousins - priceless.

and that trumps any disappointment and frustration.

on the random note!

something SUPER COOL HAPPENED TODAY.

okay, during the hangout in church.

ken was downstairs buying dinner for some of us.

then the following conversation happened between me and mo li hua.

jasmine : yiwen! i know what you're thinking now.

yiwen : im sure you do.

jasmine : yes! i know you're thinking about eating a double cheeseburger

yiwen : OHMYTIAN! thats exactly what i asked ken to buy for me!

jasmine : REALLY ?! i didnt know leh! i just saw your face got the "i want to eat double cheeseburger" face

yiwen: D:!

jasmine : must be the Holy Spirit! haha!

CRAZY RIGHT?

she had NO IDEA i ordered a double cheeseburger, so specifically!

i was expected, at most, AT MOST a "you're thinking about food right"

ohmytian!

SO COOL RIGHT!

this shows mo li hua and i got FLOW(:

okay, its really late and im lazy to blog details):

when i think about the heavens,

the moon and all the stars,

i wonder what You ever saw in me.

but You took me and You loved me(:

day after day, i know You're talking to me.

Your Word speaks louder than this world.

Your Word speaks louder than this.

Friday, April 10, 2009,1:25 am

[ i think i might just be serious,

why is everyone giving me the shocked face? ): ]

dont throw politics at my face.

i'll just be like

seriously.

i really dont like things to be under the table and sneaky.

it pisses me off, haha(:

peace <3

the world of girls is one that is admittedly sometimes

over-emotional

irrational

manipulating

and just plain *beep*

sian): but i believe,

everyone has their reason for doing what they do,

feeling what they feel.

and deciding what they did.

its hard not to be led by your emotions sometimes, it really is.

but we have to know better.

dont just do the right thing, but do what is right(:

school was its usual roller-coaster.

nothing stays constant man.

we got back our PW! (A)

I WAS SUPER SUPER DUPER SHOCKED.

seriously, if you know me last year.

you'll know how unexpected and shocking this is.

but i thank God man! (:

for bringing me through it(:

today was the first time i really saw Mr Joshua get pissed and blow.

though it was only probably level 3.

it stopped my heart for a second. haha!

0936 washed ms tang's car today! (yay -.-)

only 6 of us, but it was okay(:

slacked around before going to dinner with some classmates.

we had long talks and long walks. HAHA.

i love them(:

Your Word speaks louder than this world.

when all else fades, You reman(:

- these words have never been so true.

Sunday, April 05, 2009,1:07 am

i hear a lizard RIGHT OUTSIDE my door.

and it's been on & off for the past few hours.

its creeping me out D:

tution was horrible today! haha.

though i finished my MOD.

she's intimidating sometimes! ):

& me being late half an hour

and forgetting to bring fees for the 2nd time didnt help.

HAHA.

yiwen,

wake up your idea please.

Saturday, April 04, 2009,1:01 pm

when the world just wants to be heard,

who will bother to hear you?

all they do is run to you when they're on the brink of tears.
and then pat your shoulder and walk away when they're done using you.

i think its stupid that i have to leave my house at 1plus,

to go for tution that starts at 3 (!)

that really sucks. haha.

honestly, i really dont want to go for tution this week.

but my teacher said she'll charge me whether i go or not.

& i really dont want to waste my parent's money.

so i'll drag myself there reluctantly D:

okay, one thing i must say.

i really HATE cramps.

i had them really bad on thursday.

and manprit's having them now.

WHY, seriously. tell me WHY ?!

when you get them really bad,

it really makes me just want to block out everyone,

go home and cringe in pain

what a waste of one good day (!)

my friends and i used to say.

women practically only have one miserable week of normality every month.

or as guys would put it, one week of being sane

you see,

the week before you're suffering from pre-MS.

then comes the week when your period comes.

and the week after you're sufferng from pro-MS.

and THEN, only then, are you free.

that one tiny miserable week, or maybe even less.

and then you spiral back into that horrible emotional cycle for YEARS!

isnt it really sad ?!

haha, anyway,

life is a rollercoaster you just got to ride it(:
.

i kope-d this from jianfan's blog. HAHAHA.

it is so so so SO FUNNY!

bob the mehmeh trying to figure out wth jacques is doing.

teacher bob in lit class

we let Bob try on jacques' specs.

ISNT HE SO CUTE ?!

then Bob tried jianfan's yellow specs.

Bob is the cutest, dirtiest thing ever.

someone should seriously go wash Bob.

.
.

and then we took photos this week!

12:47 am

things are going to change,

you'll see.

hahaha, okay i've decided im not going to care about what others think of what i blog.

i like being honest. i like blogging about how i really feel.

because i want to remember it.

and not because i want to please people that read it.

so HAH! (:

i'm sorry, this is random. ahahaha.

im too lazy to blog about today though D:

nights! :D

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